Three Parts of Love
by Jill Annette
Summary: It all started whenever Mamoru forgot their anniversary. Things started to dwindle afterward and eventually Usagi is so tired with everything she decides to take things in her own hands. Then so does Mamoru. Won the 2005 SMRC Awards at smfanfiction!
1. This Is How A Heart Breaks

Disclaimer for this story: the chapter titles are titles of songs from Rob Thomas' CD … Something to Be. (The story title itself is mine.)

Three Parts of Love  
Written By: Jill Annette

**PART ONE**  
This Is How a Heart Breaks

Usagi made her way to the second floor of the Crown Arcade. The first floor was littered with arcade games, some which dealt out tickets for prizes at the desk in the side of the arcade, while others just ate quarters as one person after another slipped them into the machines. The second floor however, was what Usagi loved about this place. The second floor was a café of sorts. A long bar was placed across one side of the room which had an old-time feel to it. Behind the bar was a simple deli for sandwiches and all kinds of contraptions for different types of coffee and ice cream. The Crown Arcade was one of the most interesting places she had found in the area. It was also where she met the man of her dreams: Chiba Mamoru.

She took a seat in her regular spot whenever she knew she was just meeting Mamoru. It was a small round table that seated two which sat by a floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the busy streets below. Being able to watch people coming in and out of the arcade-slash-café and those just making their way to or from home was another advantage of the second floor café. Crown Arcade had quickly become a second home after her first visit years ago.

Glancing at her watch, Usagi noted that Mamoru was almost twenty minutes late. It seemed a bit peculiar seeing that she was almost fifteen minutes later than they agreed on and she was expecting the brunt of a lecture from him. Instead he was the one who chose to be tardy. Sighing, Usagi looked over the simple menu that she had memorized a hundred times over.

She would take turns looking out the window and then around the not-so busy parlor and back to her menu only to repeat the process over again as Mamoru still did not show. Time seemed to slow down and she had to reassure the waitress, whom she knew as Unazuki, over and over that she was in fact waiting on someone and that everything would be okay.

After thirty minutes of waiting, nearly an hour of their scheduled time, Usagi took out her cell phone and dialed Mamoru's number. He did not pick up, growling with mild frustration, Usagi hung up and redialed the number. After another five rings Mamoru finally answered.

"Hello?"

Usagi put on a cheery voice to hide her frustration, "Is that a way to answer the phone when your girlfriend calls?"

"Does it matter?" He asked bluntly.

Usagi's shoulders dropped. "No, I guess not. At least you answered the phone."

"Yeah," she heard Mamoru sigh, "Hey look, I'm kind of busy can I call you back?"

"Did you forget?"

Mamoru hesitated, "Forget what, baby?"

Shaking her head Usagi replied, "Nothing, don't worry about it. Call me back later."

Her phone beeped as the connection was broken before she could even finish her sentence and she once again peered out the paned glass window, slipping the phone into her bag. This time whenever Unazuki walked by, Usagi ordered a caramel frappuccino to go.

-+-+-+-+-+-

These were the moments Usagi loved. The times when she and Mamoru were tangled together and she could not distinguish one body limb from another. These moments, however, were few and far between. Mamoru was not much of a cuddle-buddy and once he was done with her he was back to doing whatever it was before she had distracted him from.

At the moment however, she bathed in his warmth and memorized how his skin felt against hers. Usagi was pressed along his side and she had tilted her head just so that she could watch his face as he slept, as a slight snore escaped his mouth. She felt extremely lucky to have him to hold onto at times like these and she wished that they were never ending. But like most things, even good things didn't last forever.

Mamoru started to stir. The arm that had been wrapped around her slim body moved; his long fingers trailed up from the small of her back sending shivers down her spine. The snoring had stopped and his piercing blue eyes met hers as they opened. He gave her shoulders a slight squeeze before he gently pushed her off him as he sat up. No matter how subtle it was, the movement stung like rejection.

Usagi turned her back to him. She could sense him looking for his clothes. "Leaving already?" She mumbled into her pillow.

"I have to go to work early," was his easy reply - a ready excuse.

"You could just stay the night here." She knew her attempts were useless but she had to try from time to time.

"I'd have to get up even earlier to get home and ready than if I just went home now."

Moving to face him again, Usagi watched as he dressed. She did not even begin to explain to him that he was using just as much of his time leaving now as he would if he left in the morning, if not more. "Will you call me when you get home?"

"What's the point in that?" Mamoru asked. He sat on the end of the bed to put his shoes on. "I'll just be waking you up."

"Call me tomorrow then, when you know I'm up." There was a slight bite in her words but they went unnoticed by the man in front of her.

Mamoru stood up and turned around to face his girlfriend. "If you insist."

Usagi nodded and smiled as he bent down to kiss her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Mamo-chan."

"Goodnight, Usagi."

She listened for him to exit the main door to her apartment and lock it before she rolled over once again in her bed. Usagi brought the covers up to her chin as a sudden chill found her skin.

_Whatever happened to Usa-ko?_

**-+-+-+-+-+-**

She felt it in her gut that something was not right. Usagi knew that before she left Mamoru's tonight her heart would be broken. Mamoru was going to feed her to the wolves and she was going to allow him to. She didn't know which part of the situation was worse. Was it the part that Mamoru was giving her up and their years together? Or was it the part where Usagi was not even going to fight back?

Maybe it was because she had accepted the defeat so long ago. Usagi knew that they had been drifting apart for a while now, ever since that fateful day whenever he forgot their anniversary while she waited nearly an hour for him. Maybe Usagi thought she would still have a little more time before the final day in their relationship. How should she have known that the end was so close she could grasp it? Now that the end was upon her, Usagi lost her will and even her energy to fight.

She had been fighting for so long now to get closer and Mamoru just kept pushing her away. She bowed her head in acceptance of her loss as Mamoru opened the door to his apartment and allowing her to brush past. As she faced Mamoru, Usagi decided it would be best to just get everything out in the open now instead of waiting any longer.

"Can we just get this over with?" Usagi asked—the dull ache evident in her voice. "I'm tired of being led on."

Mamoru closed the door and looked at her incredulously. "What?"

Usagi sighed, "You know what Mamoru. It doesn't feel the same anymore."

He rubbed his eyes, "Usagi, I don't want to do this."

"Well you should have thought about that before you let it happen!" The frustration that had been building up for months was evident in her eyes. "I've been hanging on to a piece of string desperately and you haven't even _tried_ to help me sew things back together."

Mamoru sat on the couch. "I'm not going to break your heart Usagi, I promised I wouldn't."

The blond scoffed at the man in front of her. "You're not going to break my heart? Mamo-ch… Mamo_ru_, you've been breaking my heart, little by little for a long time now. Every phone call you say you'll make that you don't and every call I make you choose not to answer. Every time you leave me in the middle of the night in a cold bed alone… Mamoru that's rejection and it hurts."

He ran a hand through his thick black hair. Mamoru was at a loss for words.

"I mean, what's so important that you can't just call me to tell me you're thinking about me. Hell, an 'I'm just calling 'cause I said I would. I can't really talk; I just wanted to say hi.' That would be perfectly fine. But no, I don't get that."

"I'm busy Usagi; I can't just stop in the middle of surgery to call you."

"No, I understand that. I can't stop in the middle of rehearsal to call you. But I find time to call you. More than likely you won't answer and if you do, it's just to make sure we'll be getting together later for a nice fuck."

The harsh word stung both of their ears. Mamoru hung his head in shame, Usagi standing a few feet from him, towering over him. "It isn't like that," he whispered as he ran his hands along his thighs and then against the cushions of the couch. Louder he said, "I just don't know what to tell you."

"You break me," Usagi caught the tears in her hands as they started to fall. "I could have loved you for the rest of my life."

Mamoru reached out to grab her, bring her to him and hold her but she moved from his grasp. The tears were falling easier now leaving light stains down her cheeks. He stood up trying to get her to let him comfort her, calm her, but she would not have any of it.

"No," Usagi shook her head, stepping back. "You're too late."

"Usagi-"

"See," Usagi looked up at him, letting him absorb the pain in her eyes, "You don't even call me Usa-ko anymore."

The dark headed man dropped his hands to his sides. He felt like he could do nothing as he watched the blond, the love of his life, turn around and let herself out of his apartment. The door shut quietly leaving no trace of Usagi ever being there. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let this happen?

Looking back at things, he realized where he messed up. Where he could have been misunderstood—where things were seen differently to Usagi than they really were. He should have been more careful but now, like Usagi said, it was too late; he had just lost the most important thing in his life since his parents.

He walked into the kitchen where he had placed a single blood red rose above a black velvet box. Mamoru picked up the rose by the petals and squeezed, letting the juices of the rose color his hand red, then let go and watched as the crumpled petals fell back to the table. Bruised and broken, the petals no longer held the beauty they had just moments ago. This was exactly how he felt. Taking a breath, he picked the box up and opened it revealing a single diamond set in a silver ring.

Frustrated, he threw the thing across the room.


	2. Lonely No More

Disclaimer for this story: the chapter titles are titles of songs from Rob Thomas' CD … Something to Be. (The story title itself is mine.)

Three Parts of Love  
Written By: Jill Annette

**PART TWO  
**Lonely No More

How could she have let this happen? How could she have been so stupid? She loved the man and she knew that she would never find another person like him. She would never love anyone the way she loved Mamoru, her Mamo-chan. Usagi wanted to hit herself for she had insinuated the whole thing.

There was no telling how the night would have gone and she ruined it. She had to open her big mouth and ruin everything. Tell him how badly he treated her when in reality, thinking back on it, she seemed to just be a spoiled brat. She always needed attention. Besides, who was to say that what she made of the entire situation was true? Sometimes she could let her imagination run wild and why did she have to jump to those stupid conclusions anyway.

Deep down she knew Mamoru loved her as much as she loved him. He just had trouble showing his affections at times. Losing his parents at such a young age and growing up in an orphanage and a few foster homes without real parental guidance and love did not help him learn the ability to show his emotions.

Usagi shook her head. No, she did the right thing, no one in her right mind would think that the way Mamoru had been treating her lately was good or anything near boyfriend-like—no matter what his past might have been like. She tightened her beige jacket around her and tucked her hands underneath her arms. The chill in the air bit her nose. Walking down the sidewalk this late at night was smart—in a sarcastic sense. The subway was another block away and the crisp air stung her lungs.

Her thoughts went back to the day she thought started the downfall: their fourth anniversary. They met when she was twenty-two and just starting her performing career and he twenty-seven just finishing medical school. It was almost love at first site. They had a definite attraction as they caught each other's eyes in the second floor of the Crown arced. Usagi purposefully left her gloves on the counter in hopes that the handsome man would notice. He did, catching up with her right outside the doors in the chill autumn air where she nonchalantly waited for him. Later, after they had been dating for a while, Usagi told him how she did it on purpose just to make up a reason to talk to him. Mamoru had smiled at her, kissed her nose and said, "I know."

At twenty-six Usagi believed that Mamoru would be the one to be there for her the rest of her life. Slowly she began to realize that maybe she was wrong. He forgot their anniversary, he almost always left her in the middle of the night, he did not call her Usa-ko anymore and he just seemed so distant. He would never call whenever he promised he would and then would very seldom answer the phone whenever she had a chance to call him. It all seemed crazy and she had to keep reminding herself that she did hold on for longer than necessary.

Usagi's footsteps echoed down the stairwell to the subway train below. There seemed to be no one around tonight. A few people scattered around, of course, but insanely empty for a Friday night. With her ticket stamped, the blond walked through the toll to the main waiting area. She took a seat on an empty bench.

_Most girls would have left when he didn't show up at the café, _Usagi told herself. _I mean I forgave him for it. I didn't nag about it or bring him down or torture him for months on end because of him forgetting. I just let him go about his own business and I forgave him. He remembered on his own time and sure, the make-up-for-it sex was great. Not to mention the beautiful silver necklace with a diamond pendant. _

A smile played on Usagi's lips as she tilted her head and started picking at the invisible lint in her lap. She glanced around the platform watching other people walk by.

_Who knows what his life is like? He could have a million and one things on his mind. I can't be number one all the time. Even if he is number one in my life. He is a surgeon after all and I'm just a lousy dancer._

She rolled her shoulders forward and back and 'humphed' aloud. They were complete opposites of course it could not work. She kicked at the ground a couple times as if she were a kid, an adorable pout formed on her face.

_This sucks._

-+-+-+-+-+-

Her muscles stretched with her movements across the dance floor. She was fluid and limber and graceful on the stage. Each movement precise and strong that seemed as simple to her as shaking hands but each movement was a slight strain, he knew, on her body. Usagi made every single movement look simple like a true dancer's technique should despite the difficulty. Mamoru sat in the back of the scarcely populated auditorium for open dress rehearsal. It had been a few weeks since the gorgeous blond onstage had left him. He could not get over even for a second. She was the greatest thing in his life and now she was disappearing from it.

Mamoru could not help himself whenever he noticed one of the ads for the independent company Usagi danced for having a dress rehearsal open for the public. He would not pass up the chance to see the love of his life again, even if it was from a distance. He missed everything about her.

He missed her smile, her voice and her touch. He missed her body and the way she moved and as he sat in the back, out of view from the stage, he could almost remember everything. He could recall the day they met, a teasing smile on her lips. How she felt beneath him the first time they were together, the last. He could taste her and smell her. _What did I do to mess it up? Everything was going okay. Great_, he thought. Apparently everything was not great or even okay.

He fingered the object in his pocket. A square, velvet box was soft in his palm. She needed to know how he felt and what he had planned. It was only fair. If he didn't at least try it would be the end of both of them and they would both be giving up something he felt they really did not want to.

He stood up and walked to the side aisle and slowly walked to the side door as to not make any commotion that would bring any kind of attention his way. Mamoru was good at walking around unnoticed whenever he wanted to. He was the kind of person who was slick on his feet and could easily blend into the shadows; call it a hidden talent if you must.

-+-+-+-+-+-

Usagi smiled, it always felt great to finish the last set in a performance knowing that everything went well and the crowd, no matter how small it was, enjoyed it. In the chorus line, she bowed with her fellow dancers and friends to the few people who came to the last rehearsal. This was her favorite night to perform because it was okay to mess up while you were dressed the part.

She walked backstage and into the dressing room. Usagi grabbed a towel and blotted her face and neck.

"Hey girl, great job!" Minako, another, much bubblier blond, commended as she patted Usagi on the shoulder.

"Thanks, you too."

"Think we'll do well tomorrow?" Naru, a beautiful red head, asked.

"Of course, we got it down," Minako stated matter-of-factly. "Then again, Usa best cheer up or we might have to replace her."

"Yeah, you're right." Naru agreed, "She's been Miss Glum for the past month or so."

"Worse these last couple days."

"No," Usagi shrugged, her voice coated with sarcasm. "Not here. Maybe it's just that I can't hear. I don't know, but you guys can go on and talk about me as if either statement were true."

The girls laughed. They had no clue what was going on in Usagi's life. She had not told them about her and Mamoru's break up. For all they know he was just being Mamoru and getting her down. They quit asking about her relationship problems a couple months ago, so it was easy for Usagi to bluff the relationship part of her life.

Usagi opened her locker to retrieve her things when she noticed something peculiar sitting on top of everything. A black box sat above an envelope with her name printed on the front. She sat on the bench in the center of the rows of lockers, tearing open the lip of the envelope and taking out the pages inside. Her eyes trailed over the handwriting, Mamoru's handwriting.

_Usa-ko,_

_It seems to me that you think you know what to say, when to say it and how. I want you to know something about me. About what I've gone through and what I've dealt with. Open the box, if you haven't already. That is what was on my table in the kitchen just waiting for you to sit down and notice it. I was going to ask you to marry me because you are the best thing to ever happen to me._

_Usa, your heart wasn't the only one that broke whenever you walked out on me. I may have hurt you and I may have cut your precious heart into pieces but let me mend them. If you would just tell me how you feel instead of just always telling me 'It's okay,' I could work at us. We could be better. I could be better. I could be what you want me to be. I want you to know that I'd give up everything to stand beside you. I love you. Why can't we just try? Show me how you feel._

_You know where I'll be waiting for you. I'll be waiting for you. Come find me and bring your answer with you._

_Love,  
Mamoru_

Usagi folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope as her hands shook. She opened the black box to reveal the diamond ring, tears at the ready. When she looked up, Minako and Naru were hovering over her with their mouths agape.

"You had a fight?" Naru asked.

"You broke up with him?" Minako looked stunned.

"You were reading my letter over my shoulder?" Usagi tilted her head.

Minako shrugged while Naru scratched the back of her head, sheepish smiles forming on both of their faces.

Usagi looked back down, took the ring out of the box and held it in her palm.

"So what do you say?" Naru asked.

"I don't know what to say," Usagi said.

The blond placed the ring on her left ring finger to test it out. It was a perfect fit. She smiled at the look of it shining on her finger. Standing up, Usagi threw the letter and the empty box in her duffel bag and placed the strap of it on her shoulder. She turned towards the two girls and gleamed.

"I have to go to the Crown Arcade."

With that, Usagi turned on her heel, still dressed in her dance suit underneath her beige jacket, and strolled out the door the entire time staring at the gleaming jewel.


	3. When The Heartache Ends

Disclaimer for this story: the chapter titles are titles of songs from Rob Thomas' CD … Something to Be. (The story title itself is mine.)

Three Parts of Love  
Written By: Jill Annette

**PART THREE  
**When the Heartache Ends

Usagi set her pace to that of a power walker. The ends of her long coat flapped around behind her calves. Why did he have to put her through this? He could be so aggravating whenever he wanted to be and she was easily agitated by him. Of course, Usagi knew that he was trying to be cute with the whole letter-slash-come-find-me bit but he could have waited outside the theater instead of making her walk across town to him.

_God! _Why couldn't she walk faster? Her legs were getting her nowhere fast enough. _Pump harder legs. Faster, faster!_

She was going to get her lover back. Why after all that he put her through is she so easily accepting him back you asked? Because she knew him and she knew that he meant his words. The fact that he made the attempt to ask for her back; to prove to her that he did want her still was enough for her to just drop everything and run to his arms.

However, her feet weren't going near as fast as she would like for them to.

Maybe it was just that she couldn't live without him? She didn't feel like she was the same person without knowing that he was hers. After she left him, things were not any better; in fact without him life didn't seem as interesting. In the few weeks she lived without him in her life, Usagi realized that her life meant more with him in it than it did without.

She gave a little skip trying to get her feet to cooperate. Usagi reached into her duffel bag and pulled out the empty black box. A thought formed in her head as she turned the box in her hand. A quick glance to her left ring finger and a smile later, Usagi had a plan.

With the box in her right hand and the ring on the left, Usagi stuffed her hands in her pockets as she rounded the corner, the arcade in view. A smile played across her face. He made her suffer for a long time, a minute wouldn't hurt him. If he had his games then she could have hers and she was about to play.

-+-+-+-+-+-

Mamoru sat anxiously waiting at their table on the second floor of the Crown Arcade, a steaming cup of coffee was in front of him. He'd been waiting for Usagi for a while now. Forty minutes had passed since he arrived. He tilted his head down and ran his hands through his hair. Why wasn't time cooperative whenever he needed it to be?

Maybe this is what Usagi felt like whenever she had to wait for him. He realized now how hard it was to sit and wait when you didn't know if the other person was really going to show or not. Usagi was a strong woman but this was torture and he promised himself, and silently to her, that if she gave him another chance he would never make her wait ever again.

He tapped his long fingers on the table and looked around the slow café. The red headed waitress walked up to him and topped off his cup of coffee without even asking. A knowing smile was evident on her face and Mamoru raised his eyebrows in question when she continued to stand in front of him after his cup was refilled.

"So she's making you wait this time 'round?" the young woman asked and tilted her head to the side, her bright red pony tail slid down one shoulder.

Mamoru didn't know what to say. Who was this girl and how did she know about their mishaps? Sure she was a face he recognized, hell he came here all the time and she had been working at the Crown Arcade for nearly as long as he and Usagi were together. This was proof that some waitresses could be more observant than customers may like.

"I'm friends with Usagi," the waitress said, setting the coffee pot on the table. "Well, not friends, like friends… just, sometimes, whenever you skip out like last time she'll talk to me a little bit. Get the steam off her chest, kind of like a little therapy lesson. She talks; I listen and sometimes give advice." She paused, straightening out her apron. "I mean you're lucky you guys are still together. I would've left a man if he forgot our anniversary after four years."

Mamoru shrugged. "We aren't exactly together, at the moment; although, I'm working on it."

"Ah, yes. You're working on it." She nodded and picked up the coffee pot again. "Well, maybe you shouldn't be sitting here then. It isn't going to get you anywhere."

With that the waitress gave him a polite smile and walked off to service other customers. Mamoru racked his brain for a name: _Unazuki_. That was her name. Maybe the young girl was right. Maybe sitting here was the wrong thing to do. Maybe he should have waited outside the auditorium so that way Usagi wouldn't have a chance to say no. Now he gave her at least thirty minutes to make up her mind and it has been an hour since rehearsal should have been over for her.

He couldn't live without her, without knowing that she was his. The past few weeks had been hell to get through and sleep didn't come easy.

Sighing, Mamoru placed enough money on the table for his bill and a tip, his coffee cup still filled to the brim since Unazuki topped it off, and descended the stairs from the café.

-+-+-+-+-+-

Usagi stepped inside the arcade and took in the warmth the inside of the building had to offer. She noted the people around her playing games from Air Hockey to Ski Ball to Mortal Kombat to, her personal favorite, Sailor V. A little nervous, Usagi hesitated before she started to make her way to the upstairs café.

A younger girl caught her eye as she ran up to the Sailor V game—the game Usagi used to spend all of her allowance on—and started to play the game. A boy, around the younger girl's age, walked up behind her and started pulling her light brown hair. She jerked her elbow back in hopes of hitting him but she missed. When the girl lost Sailor V's last life the girl pouted. The boy laughed at her until the girl pushed him into a machine and huffed off, upset he messed her up. After regaining his balance, the boy ran after her with, Usagi was sure, apologies sliding off his tongue.

"Remind you of us?" His low, husky voice sounded in her ear.

Usagi warmed instantly; even if she didn't want to she smiled. It was Mamoru behind her and a few years ago they were a lot like those kids but it seemed like yesterday and this is where it got them. She turned to face him after the smile faded a little, her eyes still bright and her hands in her pockets. Usagi nodded.

"So you came," Mamoru asked.

"Yeah."

The blips and beeps and blinking lights of the arcade games flashed across the pair as they stood in the middle of everything.

"Do you have an answer?"

Usagi nodded and took her right hand out of her pocket the box in her hand. "I have an answer. Here's this back, I have no use for it."

Mamoru's heart dropped, Usagi noted it in his face.

_I'm not this cruel. Why am I doing this, you ask Mamoru? Because you hurt me but what you don't realize yet is that I could never truly hurt you but at the same time I cannot just come back that easily with the answer you want slipping right off my tongue._

He took the box from her and slipped it in his jacket pocket. Mamoru couldn't look her in the eye instead he looked over her. "Okay," he said; his voice breaking.

_God,_ she couldn't stand it anymore! "Mamoru, do you want to know my answer?"

He shook his head, "I think I can figure it out."

"That's a shame you don't want to hear it from me personally," Usagi tilted her head to look up at him better. "Because I'd really love to try again."

Mamoru tilted his head down so that he could look into Usagi's eyes. She smirked and took her left hand out of the pocket of her coat revealing the ring on her finger. Mamoru let out a breath and pulled the blond in front of him into a hug.

"I want changes," she stated, her lips brushing against his ear.

"You'll get them."

"I may have this ring on my finger but it doesn't mean it is an automatic thing," Usagi said. "If you hurt me again, I'm not going to forgive you as easy."

His arms wrapped tighter around her, "If you can get away."

"Trust me; I'm flexible enough to dodge you."

"Trust me, I know." His eyebrows went up.

Usagi laughed. She pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. "You have no idea of the control you have over me."

"If it's anything like the control you have over me, then I do, Usa-ko," he said and nestled his chin in her golden strands.

Usagi sighed hearing her pet name coming from his lips. It had been such a long time since she'd actually heard it. Of course, she didn't know what she was getting herself into again but as Mamoru had said in his letter to her, why can't they just try? Right now, he was the only way to ease her aching heart.

She looked up at him, taking in the features she thought she'd have to forget just yesterday. "I love you."

A boyish grin raced across Mamoru's features. "I love you, too, baby."

She pulled at the lapels of his jacket and pulled him down into a fierce kiss, colorful lights flashing all around them.

Somewhere else in the arcade, a young girl forgave a young boy for tormenting her so. Just like the older couple, forgiveness came easy. It just wouldn't feel right if they weren't together.


End file.
